DIARY:
I did it. I am now on slow release oral morphine!
Technically I am not taking morphine to manage my addiction but for a pain issue. I now take enough morphine everyday that would kill over 5 people. Impressed? To prescribe this amount daily and to a known drug addict requires a permit from the Health Department. Under no circumstance is morphine allowed to be prescribed to manage an addiction so the emphasis is on the pain.
Even though I have fought for this for a long time, I am not sure if it is going to work for me. My diagnosis is Co-Occurring Disorders (COD). Drug addiction and depression which was being treated by methadone alone. This was hell for me because of the depression only dissipating in the mornings and resuming in full force for the rest of the day. The problem I am having is I feel depressed all day now. There is no doubt morphine manages addiction extremely well but methadone gave me a morning of well being or what you lay folk would call normality. I don't get this now and I am in panic mode again. The weekend was shocking for my depression and I used heroin to shake it off. I am ringing my doctor first thing after this post.
The results though could be good for others as there are some great benefits treating heroin addiction with morphine. Obviously treatment with heroin is ideal for those long term users but morphine offers some advantages over methadone. I no longer have to go to a chemist 3 times a week and pay $35 for my methadone. I now pick up my morphine once a week and but only pay $33.50 once a month with my script. I do have to see my doctor though every month instead of every 2-3 months. Morphine holds you from withdrawal much better than methadone and doesn't have as many side effects.
The down side though is diversion. It would be easy to divert for profit but as I always argue, if you sell your medication, you have to buy something else to replace it. You simply cannot go without it for even one day. Why would you sell it just to buy it back back on the street? Some might use the proceeds to buy heroin but if they were just given heroin to start with, most of these issues would disappear.
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Its very sad all these stories of people suffering. Its a pitty we live in a world that chemists like daryl bason see people as numbers not as humans.
ReplyDeletewho gives a fuck anyway Anonymous, PPL with depression or who use heroin are outcasts in todays world, they are kept alive by pills and deserve no chance. No one gives them a chance and they are judged all the time.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments Anon's.
ReplyDeleteHey, 2nd Anon. What do you mean exactly?
I know that one day will be great and i will take to much and fade away in the gold, blue and purple haze, Not to wake up to be with the angels. No more pain depression on the day to day basis all gone bliss. When you wake up suicicidal every day and it gets worse the ice keeps you up for ever , i personally wish i just fade away for good. Being and knowing you are a burden, no future and being told you are not worth a dime, the only thing one can wish for is to fall asleep for ever.
ReplyDeleteYah yah, know what ya saying victor, you get used by the people who once help for fake reasons, dont worry there are hundreds of fuckwits out there, they dont care what they do to save face
ReplyDeleteWho gives, drug addicts are told even by those that are supposed to help they are bad people. After what death or suicide will people wake up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your great comment, Anon.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to hear from someone else in my position. There's a lot of us out there.
Yes, the drug culture is being noticed more and more in the middle classes with the recent explosion of legal drugs like Hydrocodone, oxycodone, Morphine etc. being abused. It reminds me of the 1960s-1990s where housewives taking Valium was a major problem. The difference is that this time it is making the media more often. It also reflects the type of articles now being published. Stories about someone's poor teen who overdosed or some family who helped their teenage son get clean. They are targeting middle class parents who have kids.
I hope to see more of you making comments here.
Good luck with everything.
to think a scum bag like db would comment for the good of sick people is absurd. He speaks so he can look good, its not about dying heroin adicts its about daryl bason and how good he looks. Many ppl have fucked lives due to him.
ReplyDeletedear anon, dont complain about the house hold prescriptings as some trendy problem. I think heroin addiction, that is the injection of heroin is a sad problem. people who take advantage of the sick are parasites. Ice, crystal meth is wide spread aswell, but of course for the suburban addict on pills the they only look at rock and sport stars than the drug addicts on the street.
ReplyDeleteOh, yeah . Good luck with everything. How cheap. Just another human who will overdose and die on pain killers and a large dose of smack. Those with addictions are never offered practical help, meaningful life employment , just a burden to society. It's better burn out, die than fade away. And look at the positive it's one less , o so depressed pill addict , meth smoking , heroin dabbling human. You can all then use your Money and minds to deal with people on ya rockstar pills. More vang for your buck in Richmond ,. ;( the needle was left in the corpses arm ,
ReplyDeleteLook Daryl bason is correct, I was with a mate getting an eight ball in Victoria street and much to my supprize , lawyers,teachers and a solicitor were getting some gear aswell. But then I realized I was trippn from lack of sleep due to some ice and the addicts look far from blue collor workers . But what would I know , I just inject heroin; I have to pinch my skin to realize that is true.
ReplyDeleteAnon to claim pain killers are taken, or are more popular than heroin is stupid. Heroin is purist, smokes up good has no chemical crap in it, and you dont have to melt the wax of the pills to inject it. Once agian sounds like you live in a bubble reading famous, news weekly etc and take away any credit to the suffering addicts, who dont live a life of , (LOOK at me Iam cool, I live in suburbia and take pain killer pills.)
ReplyDeleteMyself and many others , on new years 1999-2000, got the point of the pillenium , at some party at lake eildon , some week long bush doof,physically and mentally pushing the limits. So dear anon don't complain about your household suburbia, I read fashion mags I have a pain killer problem.
ReplyDeleteMany people have really bad drug problems on ice, heroin ,MDMA. And have a history of drug use, it's idiots that use prescription drugs, knowing they will get addicted who take the help needed , by others.
The truth is now one really gives about addicts past or present, they don't care about depression or death related to depression , ppl, who have a past with drugs are treated like a burden , even if the do, or do not still use.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder suicide rates are up, it's all money , to make cash of ppl on drugs, no matter what the human cost.
yes, chemist dont care bout the deprest and dying, suicide rates. Its all about the money
ReplyDeleteThe truth is nobody gives, nor cares and recovering drug addicts suffer for the rest of their life till death, depression etc.....
ReplyDeleteThey are seen as a burden, are light years away of relationships, etc.....
Only good for pill profits till death...
Its beter to burn out than fade away
The truth is nobody really cares the only one worth fighting for is your own life , and even that is crap as you gasp for.
ReplyDeleteAir after to money pills, methadone , heroin etc. But hey who cares as long as greedy chemist make $$$$ over lives that's what. Seems to be important. Not humans , lives or livelihood , quality of life . Ppl who make money out of misery and depression are parasites...
The truth is recovering addicts are just numbers , not treated like a human, depression goes on for days, years .
ReplyDeleteThe way they are treated the quality of life they have is depressing. Just numbers
The truth is ppl don't care about recovering addicts, or addicts or those suffering the live of drug recovery. Their live is one battle of demonds. Ppl pretend to give a crap but in reallity it's all cash made of I'll ppl..
ReplyDeleteNo wonder heroin is used so much to kill the emotional pain, why have goals when ya let down. Heroin , ice and other drugs provide an onest relationship .. One that humans fail to provide.. Pure warmth , beatiyl fluffy feeling, then zzzzzzzzzzz
Who care EXACTLY, thats the point , i dont see how putting a person on morph or methadone cures a heroin problem, its all the same, but it is alot eazier for ppl to pretend the problem no longer exist, pharmeciticals are cheaper and socially acceptiable to the blind, no wonder addicts get confuzed and take heroin and methadone, such is the turmoil of confsusion in their brain...
ReplyDeleteHere addict drink this juice and drop these pills, they are less pure than heroin and cheaper..
Why dosnt any one with half a brain offer any help with employment, jobs a future..something like practical help/////??????... Quess you cant buy intelligence in pill form.
I guess adiict are seen not to have these offers as they are seen as, crap, a burden some one to walk over.
No wonder they suffer from depressiuon, are scared for life and so on.
No wonder they jiust take all the pills and end it all.