Welcome to the latest instalment of Cracker Comments. Where self appointed experts, finger waggers and anti-science proponents assault us with their own, unique brand of moral imperativeness.
Every week, we are treated to mind-bending analogies that defy logic and there’s no better topic than illegal drugs for these self proclaimed oracles to apply their craft.
Role: : Western Australian Minister Mental Health
Date: August 2010
The WA government has recently copped a lot of flack over their decision to repeal the state’s successful Cannabis Control Act. In their defence they cited debunked myths like the gateway theory, junk science reports exaggerating links to mental health disorders and the usual anti-drug slogans from the 1980s. What they failed to tell us was they had no actual scientific evidence backing their decision. In fact, the medical world is full of recent research slamming the very strategies they have proposed.
So it was a real treat to hear the Minister for Mental Health referring to the need for evidence based solutions and rejecting the very tactics his government initiated.
"Solutions need to be based on the evidence, not driven by popular, and often misguided notions of how harms can be reduced."
Evidence? Misguided notions of how harms can be reduced? Did the minister even check what one of his overpaid hacks had written for him? His statement actually acknowledged that cannabis use had “been steadily and significantly declining” under the previous policy which means the “misguided notions of how harms can be reduced” was … er, reducing harms. It doesn’t get much funnier than this.
Role: HeraldSun Sports Reporter
Date: September 2010
The previous article in The Australian Heroin Diaries congratulated HeraldSun reporter, Mike Sheahan for slamming self indulgent, self important journalists / broadcasters who were arrogantly portraying themselves as experts on illicit drugs and recovery treatment. Since then, Hawthorn player, Travis Tuck has been pinged by the AFL for drug use a third time after an incident where police found him unconscious in his car. It’s been revealed that Tuck has been suffering from depression with the AFL medical experts helping him with treatment. As per their drug policy, the AFL has penalised Tuck for having three strikes and suspended him for 12 matches along with as much help as he needs.
But, here’s the crunch. After all the criticism dished out to the AFL for their drug policy not naming and shaming players who use drugs, some boneheads like Rebecca Wilson from the HeraldSun are now crying the AFL were too harsh.
"In the meantime, the AFL has effectively abandoned him by publicly hanging him out to dry when he is at his most vulnerable."
I’m sorry Bec, but you’re a goose.
Anyway, this article is about cracker comments and although the above quote from WIlson tickles us the real prize is yet to come. Wilson, with her many decades of drug abuse expertise [sarcasm] has decided the AFL need not bother their medical experts anymore as she has the solution.
"Admissions of weakness are not such a bad thing. Demetriou and Anderson simply must throw out the rule book and start again. Consult those at the coalface who live and breathe club footy with dozens of young men at their physical and professional peak."
Yep, lose the medical stiffs and employ the wisdom of a footy club. I know I would feel better knowing someone was being treated for a complex medical condition by a football club administrator, a handball coach and the orange boy.
Once again … Bec, you’re a goose.
Role: Qld. Police Union President
Source: The Sunday Mail (Qld) - Queensland Police Union Rejects 'Insulting' 2.5% Pay Rise And Start Advertising Campaign For Better Pay
Date: July 2010
Here’s a snippet from an article in The Sunday Mail (Qld.):
Recent police figures show 50 officers a week are being spat on, punched, kicked and assaulted with more than 2700 officers assaulted across Queensland last year.
On Friday, a teenage girl was jailed for repeatedly spitting on an officer and yesterday a man, 18, was charged with serious assault for spitting at a city officer.
The police may very well deserve a pay increase in line with other public servants but using scary, fictitious scenarios is not really appropriate e.g. claiming that disease ridden druggies spitting on officers will somehow infect them with HIV or Hep C. Yep, the hospitals are full of dying people infected by spitting druggies.
"When you get spat on by an offender, who very well could have been using drugs, you need to get a disease test order to make sure you're not infected.
How do you explain to your three-year-old child that you can't show them affection, you can't give them a kiss because you might have hepatitis or HIV?"
Role: Moral Crusader / Opinion Writer / Anti-Science Pundit / Regular on Radio Station MTR
Source: Radio Station MTR
Date: May 2010
We all know Andy hates evidence based policies but could he be anymore obvious?
"You could just see that coming down the corridor, couldn’t you … harm minimisation."