Diary: Methadone vs. Morphine Update

DIARY: I have had more requests to talk about my experience on Slow Release Oral Morphine (SROM) compared to methadone and because it’s been a while since I started on SROM, it would be a good time to discuss progress. Although it was a bit shaky at the start, I am fully in the swing of SROM now and I could never go back to methadone. It was a life saver originally and I strongly support methadone maintenance treatment(MMT) but it eventually led to some nasty side effects especially depression. SROM has changed my life for the better although there as still some issues that will probably never be resolved. The bottom line is that SROM as is an excellent treatment for heroin addiction and should an alternative to other medications for Opiate Maintenance Treatment(OMT).

The benefits of SROM compared to methadone for myself after 6 months:

LESS DEPRESSION
After years of methadone, my depression was severe. On a normal day, I would be fine until lunchtime but I couldn’t work anymore after that and I would sit by myself for hours just staring into space. There was little relief and I started to use heroin again a few times a week. This really took the depression away but it wasn’t the answer being illegal and very expensive. SROM fixed all that. Having a few short sleeps would break the day up and any depression is now short lived. It’s one hell of a difference to my life!

REDUCED HEROIN USE
I hardly use heroin anymore and I don’t get that feeling that I am due for some. I sort of feel that I don’t need it or I am happy without it, it’s hard to explain. Also the once great thrill of having a hit has almost gone ... I can’t be bothered. Even when prescription heroin becomes a reality, I would still opt for SROM.

LESS DROWSY
On high doses of methadone, I was always on the nod. Even when I got my dose down to 40ml, I would still nod off when tired. That’s gone completely although I did nod a bit when I first started SROM. I can now sit up as late as I want and instead of nodding, I fall asleep like everyone else.

STRONGER FEELING OF NORMALITY / BETTER SOCIAL FUNCTIONING
I still don’t socialise like I should but tasks like walking the dogs or shopping is not put off as often with crappy excuses. I wish I could enjoy going out more to parties or to see bands like I used to but without drinking or drugs, it’s fairly boring. It’s probably just my age and going out and yahooing is not my thing anymore. Going to the movies is fine but even social events like dinner where you have to engage in too much conversation is demanding. This could just be me but it’s still not as bad as when on I was on methadone.

SLEEP BETTER AT NIGHT
No more getting up at 5am and staying up. That used to do me in by midday and I would be nodding all day. Now I get up at normal hours. The downside is having to sleep during the day. Luckily I work from home so I have 2 naps each day for about 30-60 minutes. Once early afternoon and once about 5-7pm. Also if you think methadone dreams are vivid, try morphine dreams. Morphine was actually named after Morpheus, the Greek god of dreams.

OTHER
No fluid build up/weight gain, healthier appetite, less constipation, no aching and better pain management.

Since asking to get my dose increased (which didn’t happen), I have started to adapt out of necessity. It took a good month to feel properly balanced but I am feeling as well as I am ever going to on my current dose. This was helped by initially using heroin a few times which I feel was unnecessary if my dose had been increased.

Although I am a big supporter of prescription heroin, SROM should be a priority first. All countries can easily allow SROM to be part of their OMT where as prescription heroin has all sorts of legal and logistical problems.


Support
I received an email of support from a university lecturer a few days back.

Just wanted to shoot a brief note to say thank you for what is one of the better sites on heroin use on the web. I'm opiate dependent myuself, but opted for Suboxone over the alternatives. The site is a literal treasure trove of enlightening informationthat needs to be spread and wide ... which incidentally is what I try to do myself.
[...]
I hope you don't mind my adding you site to the course's online presence as an external link ... it just speaks with such clarity to the stereotyping of heroin users and the unconscionable part played in this stereotyping by five decades of Bronwyns (love the photojob re: Faces of Meth) and Bolts of the world.

Thanking you for a truly informative, yet engaging and amusing public resource...

I receive a few emails each week but this one stood out. He attached a report that he wrote in collaboration with the Salvos and I intend to read it this weekend. I think we will hear more about this in up coming articles.

Getting feedback like this is flattering and encourages me to keep up my site going. In the non cyber world it’s very different when people find out you’re a junkie, recovering or not. I don’t associate with my partners family at all anymore nor do I have contact with most of my old friends. I’m sure some of you know what I mean. My family are fine and very supportive especially my father, who although being rather conservative as well as an ex cop, hasn’t faulted even once. My best friend who lives in another state has stuck by me as well and it’s like nothing has changed since we were at school together. Apart from a few other good friends and a bunch of “mates” I see occasionally, I get encouragement from my website.


Feedback
Does anyone have any feedback on the above items?

Yes, I want more feedback from you. Email me with your thoughts, stories or experiences. Even better, leave a comment.

Diary: Some Clarification

DIARY: I received a comment from a cyber friend today and decided to publish this article as a few people have asked similar questions or voiced their concern about myself ‘managing’ my addiction. 

Terry, this is a general comment about your site more so than about this topic as such. Specifically about the information in your sidebar actually. Also I say this as someone who has grappled with a number of addictions so, please understand my comments are not intended to be judgemental. Mate, it seems to me, that your experience is possibly somewhat atypical, your claim (and I have no reason to believe you are being dishonest) to be living a more or less "normal" (don't like the word myself, conventional might be a better substitute)life but-for-being-a-heroin-addict seems to me to be a kind of attempt to normalise your addiction. I know I kept drinking and using drugs for many years on the illusion of managability, I believed my addiction was manageable, so I kept using. I had to -like it says in the first step- admit that i was powerless and that my life had become unmanageable. 

While you continue on with the belief that your life is manageable while you continue to use, you will relapse. Obviously this isn't something I usually discuss in a public forum so you can email me if you'd like to respond, obviously you can choose to ignore or take on board what I have to say, it's entirely up to you.

For the record I have been street drug and alcohol free for five years now and I was a daily, round-the-clock abuser of a number of substances. There was a time in my life when I couldn't even imagine going a day without some kind of mind altering chemical.

First of all, I am actually a recovering addict. I am on what’s called, substitution treatment which is the most common form of treatment for heroin addiction. Substitution treatment usually involves methadone or buprenorphine which keeps the patient “stable” by maintaining their addiction with something else apart from street heroin. These substitution drugs are just as addictive as heroin but each dose is much longer lasting and doesn’t get the patient high. The idea behind it is to give the patient time to stabilise their life without worrying about finding money or drugs everyday. Once on methadone, most patients can live a fairly normal life with work and other normal functions of life. After being stable for a period, the patient can then be weaned off methadone slowly until they are free of opiates. 

Due to a pain condition and the problems of depression and some health issues from methadone, I have been switched over to slow release oral morphine (SROM) which works on basically the same principal as methadone. Morphine is not allowed to be prescribed solely for addiction in Australia but is an option for addiction treatment in some other countries. 

Although substitution treatment can get you physically clean from heroin, often the physiological cravings can lead the patient back to heroin. To succeed with substitution treatment, counselling is recommended and it increases the chances of staying clean. Many methadone patients relapse and usually it takes a few attempts. 

A major issue is that often people start on heroin because of a personal problem, particularly deep rooted physiological trauma or mental health issues like depression. When these people get clean, their problem might still persists and the chances of relapsing are high. 

As you can see, addiction is very complex and addicts are usually misrepresented by the MSM and the ignorant as just selfish, hopeless junkies. For the majority, this isn’t true and until addiction is treated entirely as a health instead of a legal issue, the politicians and MSM will continue to use the personal health issues of addicts as publicity fodder. Some other people like myself have major problems kicking opiates and spend years or even decades on methadone. For some, life on methadone is fine and recent research is showing that it might be an appropriate strategy to keep some patients on methadone indefinitely. 

The constant push to lower your dose for the goal of becoming clean is now being questioned as appropriate for everyone. As more is being discovered, alternative treatments for long term patients are being trialled overseas like prescription heroin. 

Addiction was once treated with the drug that addicts were addicted to. Just as methadone is currently used to stabilise then reduce, heroin, cocaine and morphine were once prescribed using the same model of reducing your dose until clean.

Ironically, the real problems of heroin and cocaine started when the US declared the “War on Drugs” in 1971 and forced the UN to enforce it worldwide. The level of drug related crime and the mortality rates were only a fraction of what they are today. Prior to the push from the US/UN to enforce their “War on Drugs” policies, the US were one of only a few countries with major drug problems because they outlawed prescribing these drugs for addiction half a century before anyone else. 

As some countries are reverting back to prescribing heroin, their heroin related problems are decreasing steadily whilst drug related crime and major societal problems continue to infest countries like Australia and the US. Heroin prescription is now an option for long term addicts in Canada, England, Germany, Switzerland, The Netherlands and Spain. It has been extremely successful and many more countries are looking into it.

I used to use heroin up to 500-600 times a year or about twice a day. On methadone I got that down to zero for a while but I kept relapsing. This went on for several years until my back pain got worse, the depression became unbearable and my body was at it’s limits from the methadone. 

My doctor arranged for me to see a pharmacotherapist who arranged with the health department for me to switch to SROM and anti depressants. That treated my back pain, my addiction and my depression (to an extent). I wasn’t going to get off opiates any time soon and my doctor agreed that prescription heroin was suited to my situation if available. I now use heroin 12 times a year or once a month. I don’t crave heroin like I once did but use this method as a safety measure. It’s still very easy to fall into using but once a month is enough for me. If I start to stray, I can reminded myself that my time to use is coming up. It seems to work and keep away from heroin for 344 days a year. If I was in another country, I would be on prescription heroin and the difference is it is not an option in Australia. 

For those who think I am deluding myself as all good junkies do, the use of heroin as a treatment is approved by many doctors but cannot not officially be endorsed. To summarise, my treatment plan is not focussed on being free of opiates. I would love to be clean but the current thinking is that long term addicts have different needs to most heroin addicts. I have the choice to deal with my situation with street heroin or via the medical route ... I have chosen the official medical route. My treatment is long term addiction management, not the “stabilise, then reduce” treatment like most methadone patients. I have no physical need to use heroin because of the morphine (or methadone) but I still have physiological cravings. This is treated via 12 monthly doses of heroin. BTW, my situation is fully implemented and monitored by 3 medical professionals. I should also mention that you can safely take opiates all your life. they are basically non toxic and do no harm physically. Other drugs like amphetamines are a different matter. You can never manage a life of speed or alcohol for too long because of the havoc it causes on your body and brain. 

Some Won’t (Don’t Want To) Get It. 

Tens of thousands were once treated with heroin or morphine with very little problems but that changed when the US/UN enforced their abstinence or nothing approach. Abstinence should always be the first and preferred method but if that doesn’t work, then there should be several options after that like substitution treatment. The problem is that after nearly 40 years of drug hysteria and propaganda from the MSM, politicians, moralists, conservatives and the religious right, there is massive ignorance in the public arena and total abstinence is seen as the only option. 

My whole blog is based on trying to dispel the myths and personal views that dictate how we, as a society treat the drug problem. Some will never change their minds though, choosing to ignore science and medical facts and sticking to their ignorant views. Even when presented with my blog, some choose to skip over the facts and the actual content then construe their own biased views or judgements about myself.

As an unrepentant Junkie Wright, it really is just a matter of time before he cops a shot of some bad smack or before he catches a blood borne disease and goes to the biggest trip of all. I am amazed how the likes of Everett take at face value all of Wrights protestations that he has his habit “under control”. When it is very clear that Wright is in fact a most obedient slave of the poppy and that any suggestions that this addict can control his master, like those made by Wright in his blog, actually border on the delusional as any number of former addicts will testify. In the end the only ways to stay clean are to totally abstain which Wright refuses to even consider. Indeed Wright’s ability to “cope” is predicated upon some rather fragile constructs that are only ever one or two setbacks from irrevocably collapsing in a heap Typical of the left Everett is willing to make any concession to someone who her perceives as a noble “victim” he does it in relation to our Indigenous Australians and he does it with Wright. Personally I don’t care about the fact that Wright is a Junkie it is his obnoxious and belligerent comments directed at me that I object too and I refuse to treat him with kid gloves because he loves the needle more than anything else in the world.

-Iain Hall; Moralist and conservative blogger.

The above comment was made by infamous conservative want-to-be weirdo, Iain Hall. Much of his criticisms are aimed at me personally but you get the feel of the overall ignorance that he displays. 

His views reflect the usual media driven images of desperate junkies shooting up anything and not caring about sharing needles. 

The idea that any form of treatment except the “abstinence only” method is doomed to fail is typical of conservative values and ignorance. Remember that it was the US and their conservative views that interrupted over a century of treatment with their own “War on Drugs” approach that has given us the massive drug problems we have today. 

The conviction that Hall’s conservative opinions are facts are shown with his claim, “as any number of former addicts will testify”. What former addicts? We just have to take his word for it. Although Hall should never be taken seriously, his views are reflective of those who can’t comprehend that drug addiction is complex. The black and white world of some right wing conservatives will always hinder their ability to see past drug addiction as a law and order issue. Countries that have prescription heroin or safe injecting rooms are always under threat of conservative politicians regardless of the success. There is quite a lot of research now showing the huge benefits from what would have been called radical only ten years ago. You can only ignore facts for so long and the fallacious thinking like that of Hall is luckily becoming less influential on how we approach drug addiction. 

Snippets - Various Good News Articles

Good News - Drug Use Drops

Latest figures from The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare show that Australians are reducing their drug intake. Tobacco, alcohol, cannabis and methamphetamine usage rates has dropped from 2004 to 2007. The worry is that the government or opposition is going to take the credit for it or that it will be used as evidence that the “tough on drugs” approach is working. We will wait and see.

Rehab At Risk

A pharmacotheraphy program for a drug rehab in Wodonga may be closing because the Federal Government has not approved more funding yet. The closing of any medical based rehab is a concern especially in a small community like Wadonga. If the government shut down those evil rehabs based on the Swedish model which use abstinence & religion instead of medicine and science, they could fund many real clinics like that at Wadonga. The Wodonga clinic is funded until June.

More Evidence That Addicts Don’t Choose to be Addicts

Reuters: Scientists in China have identified about 400 genes that appear to make some people more easily addicted to drugs, opening the way for more effective therapies and addiction control. Experts believe genetic factors account for up to 60 per cent of a person's vulnerability to drug addiction, with environmental factors accounting for the remainder. The researchers focused on four addictive substances - cocaine, opiate, alcohol and nicotine - and mapped out five main routes, or "molecular pathways'', that lead to addiction, they wrote in the journal PLoS Computational Biology. 

Ecstasy Helps War Trauma Victims

A medical team in Israel is running trials of the drug ecstasy as a treatment for post-traumatic disorders in soldiers. The doctors believe that MDMA, the active drug in ecstasy has both calming and stimulating effects that can help patients not only overcome trauma but also dominate it. The doctors are also convinced that psychotheraphy is crucial in curing patients and that ecstasy can help them to recover. Ecstasy has recently been found to be a lot less dangerous than first thought and joins the growing list of illegal drugs being used for positive outcomes.

Sweden’s Drug Policy Dealt Another Blow

Sweden’s Zero Tolerance drug policy has recently been singled out as breaching human rights and their claims of success have been refuted with continuing evidence showing their figures are deeply flawed. Former PM, John Howard was pushing for Australia to adapt the abstinence only and moral based Swedish model and cited many statistics including their low rate of marijuana smokers. According to a new police report, Swedish authorities have seriously underestimated the size of the country's cannabis market. Around 25-30 tonnes of cannabis are sold in Sweden every year, rather than the 3 tonnes previously estimated.

Dutch Police Union Chairman: Legalise Cannabis

According to NPB Hans van Duijn, the chairman of the Dutch police union, most senior police including himself support the legalisation of cannabis. The Netherlands already allow the sale of cannabis in selected “coffee shops” but technically, it is still illegal. Pressure from the UN and the US is the reason stopping full legalisation and Hans van Duijn says Dutch politicians are reluctant to look at the possibilities of legalising soft drugs. He also wants prescription heroin to become law. At the moment it has to be classed as a scientific trial and renewed every three years to bypass the UN’s antiquated drug policies.

“Drug crimes take up a great deal of the police's time and energy and other crime issues suffer from it”

-NPB Hans van Duijn, the chairman of the Dutch police union

Diary: Methadone vs. Morphine Opinion

DIARY: As you probably know, I am on SROM(slow release oral morphine) now instead of methadone and it’s amazing the difference it makes to my life. The problem is that my tolerance is growing slowly as my body adapts to the opiates. It took me years to get my methadone levels right and even then I changed it at least twice a year. So I went to the doctor and he gave me a long story about the health department and schedule 8 drugs.

Morphine cannot be prescribed to anyone for the treatment of addiction. I already know this and my prescription is primarily to manage my pain. For a heroin addict like myself who was on methadone, morphine is usually a big no-no and it took an application from a pharmacotherapist, the OK of a D & A counsellor and permission from my doctor to get a permit from the health department. Now that my tolerance is rising, I need my dosage to increase which is common for long term morphine patients. I was told flat out that I would need to see the pharmacotherapist again to get another recommendation, return to my doctor and he can then make another submission to the health department. All this will take about a month. My doctor explained that he thought it was ridiculous and was not impressed with the circumspection of the health department.

So what are my options over the next month? I already use heroin once a month and I don’t want to increase that but I can’t think of any alternatives. These are the silly illogical policies that I am faced with. If they are so paranoid about me abusing drugs, why make it so hard to obtain legal medication? They must know there is no alternative except for magically just getting through this period. Jeepers.

I am convinced SROM should be an alternative for methadone. My doctor’s first words to me the other day were, “How’s it going ... I bet you’re doing a lot better now?”. And he was right. I know some countries use SROM but why it isn’t used more often is a shame. It’s understandable though as the fear of diversion must be overwhelming for the authorities. The fear that a tiny percentage might hock their medication must terrify them. A long term addict like myself needs their meds and would not risk going through the cycle of rise-money-score-sleep again. Long term addicts are the small percentage who have tried everything to quit but have some medical issue stopping them. I realise the importance of stability and the daily ritual of stabilising with substitution treatment is the only thing keeping my life together. 3 months ago I was ready to give up, now I am getting back into the swing of life. The reason is simply a different medication - SROM.

Diary

Diary: I was walking my dogs last night when something occurred to me. I was content to be out with my dogs and not focussing on just getting home. Usually everything is a chore. I have become an expert at looking happy and I always smile politely and make sure no one suspects I am feeling depressed. Underneath I just want to get the fuck back home where it's safe. The new medication must be starting to work and I certainly feel a bit different. After the walk I even got stuck into some work for a few hours which was a relief considering how much I have on at the moment. I also notice that still there is a lack of wanting to use heroin. It can only be good. On a lighter note, we bought two pairs of food tongs. When Angela got home with the shopping, I pulled them out of the bag and said "new tongs"? She instinctively replied, "Two Tongs ... Tingtong, Sing Song Singsong ... where is Dr. ... Tingtong". She then proceeded to yell at me for the next 15 minutes for putting that stupid poem in her head.

Diary: Adapting

DIARY: The battle to balance my days is getting easier as I adapt to morphine instead of methadone. I no longer get the slight 'high' I got from methadone and is the hardest part to adapt to. This gave me a full morning to work solidly before the depression sets in. This slight 'high' is the equivalent of what most people call normal. I don't have that morning reprieve anymore but my afternoons are no longer hell. One bonus is I don't feel the need to use heroin as much. I have gone nearly 2 weeks without it since I went through a bad patch of using when I first moved over to morphine. I am going to use this weekend and I have to admit, I can't wait. After that I am going to reduce to once a month and then once every 2 months. One of the biggest worries for junkies is money. Even though I work, the depression and some personal problems has made me use for short periods where I have wasted savings, blown large payments or borrowed to fund the using. This always puts financial pressure on us at a later date. The move to morphine from methadone had me using too much and now without any significant income for the last month, it is getting very uncomfortable. Luckily though a few big projects have dropped and this week starts a good period for me. Over the several few months, I should be clearing some nice dollars and will get my financial state back in order. A few people have emailed me about my morphine dose so I hope this answers any future queries. If you are given morphine for pain, you get dosed at about 10mg. For people suffering terminal illnesses, that dose slowly goes up as you tolerance increases and the pain gets worse. For others, morphine is highly addictive so the withdrawal process is very much a reason not to prolong treatment or increase the dosage too much. If you get addicted, you're a junkie and there are many people who never used heroin until they were treated with morphine. An average size person could take about 10-30mg as their first dose but anything over that would probably kill them. I take 600mg+ each day which just stops me going into withdrawal like methadone would. For those who don't know, substitution treatment just replaces heroin with another opiate. I am still addicted to opiates but heroin carries such a social stigma that some governments will do anything to avoid giving out heroin as treatment. Opiates incidentally are relatively non toxic and I could safely take heroin/morphine 3 times a day for the rest of my life with no physical damage. Heroin is like Aspirin in that it is being rediscovered. Once demonised and removed from nearly every countries' PBS(except a few countries like England), heroin is now starting to become a potential miracle drug for depression and drug addiction. Addicts who have been given free medical quality heroin in 8 different countries has proved without doubt the it is the most effective drug to get addicts clean. One day heroin will be prescribed to heroin addicts in most countries except maybe the US. This would be the end of heroin epidemics and the illegal heroin trade which would allow millions of addicts to live normal productive lives and drop crime by an estimated 25% on average per country.

Diary: Some Cheap Advice

Diary: I have been very quiet at writing on the personal front lately due to my new treatment. I also thought more people would be interested in 'news' so I tried to keep that as the focus of my posts. Amazingly, I have had heaps of 2 emails asking me for personal experiences. No idea why as I am sure they have enough problems of their own to deal with. 

I mentioned last week that I am now on morphine instead of methadone and it is really taking it's toll. Man, the depression is killing me. At least on methadone, my mornings were good but morphine just keeps flat all day. I have no idea how anyone gets high on this stuff because I feel nothing ... not a thing. It holds me like methadone but there's certainly no so called 'euphoria'. Lately though I have started to get more of a balance and hopefully I will have it sorted over the next week. I have picked up a few tips to feel better. I have never relied on anything but medication before to get me through so this is new to me as well. 

Sleeping: When I start to feel flat - I go to bed. Yep 10 - 30 minutes does wonders. 

Walking: I try to walk my dogs every night now and since it's March, the weather is spectacular(Australia anyway). I have started to walk mornings as well. Just 10 minutes does it and it's a good start to the day. 

Coffee: A cheap legal 'pick me up'. 

Heroin: When all else fails. 

Before my current treatment, I planned my usage to act like a reward. I would set a certain day I could use and if I started to falter, I would talk myself around it knowing that the day was coming that I could use. I started at once weekly and got to once every six weeks. This worked well and I got my methadone to a fairly low dose. Unfortunately the depression set in and everything changed. If I wasn't predisposed to opiates and I had no depression, I might have been clean by now. It's also a great way to save or put money away for when the day comes.

Diary: Methadone vs Morphine Result

DIARY:

I did it. I am now on slow release oral morphine!

Technically I am not taking morphine to manage my addiction but for a pain issue. I now take enough morphine everyday that would kill over 5 people. Impressed? To prescribe this amount daily and to a known drug addict requires a permit from the Health Department. Under no circumstance is morphine allowed to be prescribed to manage an addiction so the emphasis is on the pain.

Even though I have fought for this for a long time, I am not sure if it is going to work for me. My diagnosis is Co-Occurring Disorders (COD). Drug addiction and depression which was being treated by methadone alone. This was hell for me because of the depression only dissipating in the mornings and resuming in full force for the rest of the day. The problem I am having is I feel depressed all day now. There is no doubt morphine manages addiction extremely well but methadone gave me a morning of well being or what you lay folk would call normality. I don't get this now and I am in panic mode again. The weekend was shocking for my depression and I used heroin to shake it off. I am ringing my doctor first thing after this post.

The results though could be good for others as there are some great benefits treating heroin addiction with morphine. Obviously treatment with heroin is ideal for those long term users but morphine offers some advantages over methadone. I no longer have to go to a chemist 3 times a week and pay $35 for my methadone. I now pick up my morphine once a week and but only pay $33.50 once a month with my script. I do have to see my doctor though every month instead of every 2-3 months. Morphine holds you from withdrawal much better than methadone and doesn't have as many side effects.

The down side though is diversion. It would be easy to divert for profit but as I always argue, if you sell your medication, you have to buy something else to replace it. You simply cannot go without it for even one day. Why would you sell it just to buy it back back on the street? Some might use the proceeds to buy heroin but if they were just given heroin to start with, most of these issues would disappear.

Diary: Another Update on Methadone vs Morphine

Well, did I get some good news or what ... SROM (slow release oral morphine) might be an option for me. Though rarely handed out, the specialist informed me that he has previously applied to the health department for a morphine permit for an existing methadone patient. It is rare for this to happen due to Australia's health policy and it took me to ask the specific question to get an answer. 

He carefully went through every other option and continually made notes being very careful to gauge if I was legitimate or not. The appointment went for over an hour which is along time for a specialist of his calibre. He was very thorough and would often pause to think, sometimes up to 2 minutes. If you have ever sat starring at a doctor for 2 minutes in silence, it can be eerie. 

Does he believe me? Have I tripped myself up?, Is he asleep? The result is not straight forward as he needs to discuss the option with the local D & A counsellor I had met with previously and my methadone doctor. He has recommended I go on anti-depressants again and see a shrink for 3 months. If this fails, he then has more of a case for the health department to give me SROM. 

God, I am so glad that there might finally be some relief in sight. I wish like hell methadone worked better for me so I could get my life back but after nearly 10 years, I am sure I need to try something else. 

The vital element to dealing with substitute treatments is to have options. The government needs to listen to the specialists - the more options, the better. Drug addiction is extremely complex but add into the mix, mental health issues and you have a medical minefield called Dual Diagnosis or Co-occurring Disorders (COD). 

It is hard enough for medical experts to grasp but somehow politicians (and much of the public) don't have a problem with recommending a solution ... jail. 

Each addict has unique reasons and situations for their condition and having only a few options is the result of irresponsible health policy. Abstinence is the best option and should be the ultimate goal. If that doesn't work, then counselling and substitute treatment if needed. Substitute treatment is very limited at the moment and we have many viable options at our fingertips but the politicians are too weak to let them be trailed especially diacetylmorphine (heroin).

Diary: Update on Morphine vs Methadone

DIARY:

I went to see the specialist the other day. Before you get to take up the valuable time of the Chief Witch Doctor Voodoo God, you must travel through the spirituality cave. Here you encounter the great shaman of chatalot and you must pass his acceptance trials. Very cunning yet wise is the deceivingly young looking shaman, alert and relaxing, probing but not intruding, all the signs of a Hmadas are cleverly interwoven with generality and emotional exploration. To put it another way, It was the usual mumbo jumbo from the D & A counsellor who asked about my general family history, the reason for my addiction and the compulsory recording of my drug history. His role was to sift through the junkies and drunks who had mental problems. Only those with genuine physical problems that had a chance of achieving a positive outcome got to see the main specialist. These specialists are highly regarded doctors in their fields and would cost a fortune . The D & A guy had his own agenda as well. He offered counselling and most people who get referred there probably needed some form of counselling anyway. He was very welcoming and had a knack for making you feel comfortable so I guess he nabbed quite a few clients. As usual though, I spent most of my time preaching about heroin trials and drug laws etc. I'm sure he laughed quietly to himself at the audacity of a junkie preaching drug policy to a professional drug & alcohol counsellor. Oh well. I told him straight out that I wasn't interested in counselling and it hadn't really worked before. I was there for an alternative to methadone but agreed that if I got a sufficient substitute treatment, I would attend his sessions. The result was that he booked me an appointment. There were no promises or even an indication that the Chief Witch Doctor Voodoo God would give me what I wanted. I am sure he must know that methadone and buprenorphine are the only opiates available for addiction. I therefore assume he would know if the Chief Witch Doctor Voodoo God has ever prescribed something else especially slow release oral morphine. So in a few weeks, I will know for sure if I am able to receive appropriate treatment for my illness.

Morphine instead of Methadone? and Alan Jones is Right(For Once)

I am so sick of methadone!

I had to put up my dose by 10ml to 70ml just to get some relief. Relief came for a few days but it's gone again. The screaming need for some peace in my life has been unbearable lately. I cannot work properly, I wake up every few hours at night and then fall asleep in front of computer which makes me so tired the next day and I cannot work properly again. 

I need to get high ... extra methadone or heroin.

I need the feeling of normality that opiates bring me. I know I am never going to get that initial buzz but to be honest, that's not what I'm after. I want to feel ... anything remotely normal, like other folks who get it naturally, who don't have to pay for it. Sure, I'll take the initial 5-15 minutes of the heroin buzz as a bonus but that's not enough. I want to know I can have another dose during the day. Dream on, Terry.

Replacement Treatment Using Morphine? I noticed at the International Center for Advancement of Addiction Treatment (ICAAT) website, that listed under opiate addiction treatments for Australia, it classes morphine as a treatment. I went to my doctor who prescribes my methadone and asked him if that was true. He was unaware that it was a legal treatment in Australia and told me that no opiates could be prescribed just for the treatment of addiction except the usual suspects, methadone and buprenorphine. Anyway, he wrote me a referral for a specialist mentioning morphine as a possible alternative to methadone. This specialist deals with "pharmacotherapy patients with significant medical, psychiatric and/or psychosocial problems". I have an appoinment in a few weeks. I will keep you updated.

A Glimmer of Hope

Did you know Alan Jones, the ultra conservative shock jock from 2GB actually supports a heroin trial. Yes, back im 1988, he publicly spoke about how he was wrong condoning a trial and the current tough approach was not working. I wonder why John Howard didn't take his advice on this one?

A Glimmer Of Hope  was found on Family Drug Support's website. FDS is a fantastic organisation run by veteran reformer and all round good guy,Tony Trimingham.