Diary: Another day, another depressing day...
It's been a while since I had had my medication of choice. Well, less than a week but that can be a long time some weeks. I am not particularly hanging out but just flat. Living in methadonia does that. I am trying to get my dose down to about 20ml and then switch to buprenorphine for a week. I can then do the one day detox and then I am officially clean.
Sounds simple. The problems are getting my dose down to about 20ml, switching to buprenorphine and of course ... staying clean. But ahhhh, the taste of that sharaz, the joys of waking up horny, going out and enjoying Australia's stunning autumn mornings etc etc etc. These are normal events for most of you but just a memory for me.
Diary: My Heroin Trial
I am always trying to get clean in one way or another. My dose regularly drops but when I feel doomed it goes up again. As more and more research results show that heroin addiction is not because of being weak or having no will power, I have slowly changed my views. Maybe I need heroin? I have very low serotonin levels and have unusual cravings for sugar which started to make sense when I found out that most drug addicts have been found to be hypoglycemic. To add to this an Australian university recently discovered that heroin addicts and methadone patients have had a part of their brain diminished. This part of the brain controls your will power! It would explain how seemingly normal people will do anything to get a hit / self medicate (the terminology is dependant on whether your a mate of Piers Ackerman or not).
So, I went off methadone for 7 days and used heroin as a replacement. I had the money saved so I wasn’t having to focus on how I was going to pay for it. The difference was incredible. My taste buds came back, my sex drive reappeared, my taste for red wine returned, my appreciation of going for a walk with my pets grew, my love of cooking returned, I slept properly for the first time in 10 years, I woke each morning without the ‘methadone aches’, I was much more alert, my depression was almost non existent, I was smiling and pleasant and more. Interesting enough was that a doctor friend supported my trial as he based his beliefs on science/medical evidence and NOT moral judgement.
I wish I had more evidence to show you and had the links ready, but they are there. This information is available easily if you want to find it. Why can't politicians or so called journalists find it? I suppose we have been brainwashed into believing the religious and moralistic viewpoint that addiction is a sin.
Major Brian Watters of the Salvation Army actually said that. "Heroin addiction is a sin!" He said this as the chairman for the Australian National Council on Drugs in 1998. (ANCD) BTW: he was handpicked by John Howard.